"You're Gonna Miss Me Baby" by Jim Behrle

This isn't a porno and you're not the pizza guyWhiny bodhishatva beneath a thrumming something"I'd have been booing us, too" / I'm sorry I everMet you / "You're Megatron and I'm Shia Labeouf"You're gonna wake up one morning thwarted byThe daily burden of ye olde sunlightYou're gonna wake up one mornig dupedInto a sticky regret / spun out across the greatPermanent thirsty worseningYou're gonna look around and say Whoa, thisIs one cold pair of corderoysIs there vomit in your heart tonite?Hatless against all degrees / "You're just theWorst kind of person"Not Agent Scully, more like the CigaretteSmoking Man with a little blond dutchboyWig on top--such a pill and not even a*Fun* pill, who would write a love songAbout that?Slathered in beards and yet still somehowSanguineless / Only in snotty facebook updatesIs anything given off, Theresafied / everymoreUnravellingBut I'm still available for makeout sessionsIf it will expedite the healing processOnly love can break your heart except also steelGirders / The things I liked about you were blackIce along the Mass Pike in a town called CrapasoitMaybe someday we'll split a bottle of Bushmill'sNext to a CVS dumpster / eating cheetos nakedIn the rain but I've run out of quartersMy SUV upsidedown in the snowI love you Heather but you suckAnd being a poet is the best revenge withLiterally dozens of loyal readers and anInvisible machete buried forever in my gutImagining a certain outstanding butt lit By christmaslights, freckled for theEpiphany / "A drunkard's dream if IEver did see one"